Oh, there you are. You're the other white meat. Jeff Dunham Next two dogs, same thing. Melvin is known to be a tattletale and he is arrogant. : Jeff Dunham Jeff Dunham You're a ventriloquist; make it *talk*. Okay, I will not move my ass. Jeff Dunham : Peanut He appears to have no other powers, however: When Dunham asks how far he can fly, he responds, "How far can you throw me? : What I'm about to tell you has happened *five* different times, so it can't be coincidence. : : : Melvin the Superhero Guy I'm like, "Kenna, what are you doing?" Walter José Jalapeño He is also the author of the young adult book, The Second Base Club. During the holidays last year, we had to take the Hummer and get a little maintenance done on it. Melvin the Superhero Guy From Jeff Dunham : Walter Well, we're in DC. [to Walter]  Look, it's the CIA. Achmed the Dead Terrorist Yeah, and when it idles, it goes "Homohomohomohomohomo. José, what'd you say? : [Peanut is making fun of both Jeff and José]  : And trust me, you would not do well in prison. Superman does that. Peanut I pushed the vehicle home! Jeff Dunham X-ray vision. It's wiggling! Walter Peanut That's the stupidest joke I tell all night. Are you my virgins? I did that a little too well, didn't I? : And every time I get a king, he'd blow it up! : His weaknesses include cupcakes and porn, but though not at the … Jeff Dunham : So I tried to turn her into a fish. Peanut : Jeff Dunham Jeff Dunham It's not funny. Like what? I said, "Señor Jeff". Do you really own one of those vehicles? Jeff Dunham Peanut No, he said, "Heff"! "Jeff Dun-HAM." "Hey! Walter : Peanut Peanut : Good evening, José. : : Jeff Dunham : What as the last thing that went though your mind? Achmed the Dead Terrorist The locals are hanging onto the palm trees! Well, at least Shamu only has one blowhole. What's wrong? It's all the same! You don't let Jews in your bar? Jeff Dunham: You know I have a wife and three kids. : Knock, knock. : : José? So what's your question? Jeff Dunham Ooh, wait. : It's okay. : Melvin has light skin, freckles, and light brown hair with some of it swept upward. Jeff Dunham Little Rusty hears the argument, he knows we're not happy with each other, and apparently, he takes my side because at three or four in the morning, he will wake up and pee on my wife. [to Melvin]  Melvin the Superhero Guy Thanks for laughing at that. I can't see through silicone. Walter Just sit still. And he would like to *kill me*! : Jeff Dunham : Helloooo! Peanut Jeff Dunham : : If this is paradise, I've been screwed! What kind of terrorist? : Looks like you're in a frickin' car wreck. We have the technology. Jeff Dunham Seamus. I saw flying car parts. Jeff Dunham A terrifying... terrorist. Jeff Dunham As Jeff Dunham describes in a DVD commentary about the making of Melvin the Superhero Guy puppet, Melvin's eyebrows are rigged to move in opposite directions of each other. Peanut Peanut Jeff Dunham Peanut What did you guys learn from that? : : : Walter [to Achmed]  Stick stuck in the carpet, crammed down her throat; with momentum, she actually pole vaulted over the stick. Jeff Dunham Jeff Dunham I have a question for José. OLÉ! So, Jose, are you saying have yourself a new girlfriend? So, you're a terrorist? : : So is Alcatraz. And make jokes without "american-inside-sense" is very difficult. And then I thought "Damn. We cannot talk at the same time! : Those are good ones. It's as plain as the nose on your... Jeff Dunham Yes, really, uh-huh. Ha! I am not kidding! Come on, Walter, do you like being in D.C.? Peanut : We have no idea where she got that from. : : Well, you can't fool me. : : He said "Jeff". Jeff Dunham What the f... Now he said "Heff"! [whispering]  Goofball McCluskey, Max the Wonder Thug, and Calamity Wayne are building a time machine so they can get Melvin before he ever became a superhero. Uh-huh. Paige Dunham : I couldn't breathe, I was laughing so hard. : : : : "But it's a dry heat!" I don't know. José Jalapeño [stage whisper]  It's the greatest thing *ever*! He is sometimes selfish such as when he refused to save people unless George and Harold changed their comic about him in book 7. : Dunham portrays Melvin as unimpressed with other superheroes: When told Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound, Melvin dismisses him as a "showoff," arguing that he can simply walk around them, observes that Aquaman has the same powers as SpongeBob SquarePants, that the Flash's super speed is derived from methamphetamine, that the Hulk's vaunted ability to get stronger as he gets angrier merely mirrors "every white trash guy on COPS," and makes innuendo about the questionable relationship between Batman and the underage Robin. : : Jeff Dunham [Peanut and Jeff look at José, and then at José's stick and then at each other]. You know what that means? I said "I don't know, did it sound something like this - CLICK!". Ah-ha! Oh, I'm sorry. : I'm sorry, José. NEEEYOW! Achmed the Dead Terrorist Achmed the Dead Terrorist Yes, and we also date mortals, too. You have a big dog? : I was in Florida, I gotta burn off the frickin' moss!". : Jeff Dunham Melvin the Superhero Guy. I get onstage every night, and I'd say, "You people are idiots. : In Minding The Monsters his name appeared on a gravestone in the graveyard of dummies Dunham doesn't use anymore. Once." Achmed the Dead Terrorist Melvin the Superhero Guy No. I am a suicide bomber. : [to José]  : Second Comedy Central special. And when you can drive underneath an 18-wheeler and go, it's really dirty! So you never saw a white light? Peanut : Walter Yeah, I bet to get it in and out you've gotta use a lot of lotion! : Jeff Dunham : : Dunham sculpted the current version of Melvin's head himself, and hired an effects company called Renegade Effects Groups to create the rubber mold and complete the puppet, before then installing the mechanics himself. : I don't know. Cut it out! You freakin'. 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